Wordswoman

My own attempt is below. Put your own in the comments if you'd like to share.

If a man’s home could truly be his castle, Parker Sims’s castle would have hungry alligators in the moat and sharpened spikes atop the walls. The spikes would be decorated with the heads of neighborhood dogs that barked when Parker wanted to sleep, and neighborhood children who ran across Parker’s manicured lawn. The towers would have arrow slits for archers; the ramparts would have pots for the boiling oil.

But this was a suburbia, so Parker had to make do with a chain-link fence, a Keep Off The Grass sign, and the best Brinks security system money could buy.

• Most Common U.S. Surnames (for those times when you suddenly realize all your characters have last names beginning with B). Also includes links to most common/popular boys' and girls' names, and the most popular names historically.
• Parts of a Castle.
• World History Timelines.
• Timeline of Clothing History.
• History of Clothing (including specific pieces of clothing, e.g. earmuffs, bikinis, etc.)
• The Great Idea Finder (history of inventions, inventors, innovations).
• List of Legendary Creatures.